I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need a burrito and a hug.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
