Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
