peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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