Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
