after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you. Go after that dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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