Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
