I heard we made out
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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