I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
