Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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