he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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