we're blogging at a bar
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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