Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize