I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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