tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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