You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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