I want to walk on stilts...naked
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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