guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
