He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
