She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
