hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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