I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
