Christians are straight up FREAKS
actually, I'm a sock model
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
