This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
