I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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