So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
