it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
