Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
