I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
