What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
