tell your sister to shave her snatch
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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