we made out on top of his cat.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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