we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize