guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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