i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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