I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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