Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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