how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize