She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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