the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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