so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
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Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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