My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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