hotel room ftw
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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