the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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