you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My feet surprised me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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