Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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