yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
