You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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