Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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