After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
