I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
