This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
