He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
