The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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