I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize