I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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