i'm signing you up for texting rehab
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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