i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
