Please, let me fuck your mom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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