I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
