JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
