She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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